Featured Review: WANTED

Wanted



Starring- James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie, Thomas Kretschmann, Common, Terence Stamp



Directed by Timur Bekmambetov



Grade: B




"What the [expletive deleted] have you done lately?"

Usually films that have no regards for the laws of physics are generally bad. Then, there are movies like Wanted that take no prisoners in its attempt to go balls-out ballistic on your common sense and defy even the most stuck-up film scholars to admit that real life movies don't always have to be true-to-life. Wanted literally rewrites the mindless action film into an enjoyable, guilty pleasure.

We meet Wesley Gibson (Atonement's James McAvoy, decidedly less sexy and brooding here) in the middle of a mental breakdown. His office job sucks, his girlfriend and best friend are having not-so-secret sex behind his back, and he takes medication to control his panic attacks. Overall, he feels his life is meaningless. That is, until the day Fox (Angelina Jolie, decidedly less pregnant here), an ultra-attractive super assassin comes and saves him from another killer. Gibson gets recruited into Fox's group, The Fraternity, led by Sloan (Morgan Freeman, decidedly less God-like here), based entirely on the fact that he must have his father's genes of a killer.

What ensues is two hours of violence and chase scenes. Some of the action is so over the top that it begins to get tiresome. We've broken down the thought process of making sense of the outlandish stuff going down on screen, so it ends up becoming acceptable. They could pack sixteen elephants into a gun chamber and use them to kill the Pope from the planet Mars at that point and it'd somehow make perfect sense in Wanted.

Whereas the Clive Owen/Paul Giamatti vehicle Shoot 'Em Up, last year's attempt at tongue-in-cheek action/dark comedy bonanza, largely failed because it worked to provide realism as much as its asinine plot and violence sequencing, Wanted makes no such mistakes. Its plot is genially stupid, but there are enough twists and turns, some predictable, some should have been predictable, to keep the action scenes chugging along.

Director Bekmambetov knows a story about curving bullets, a prophetic loom weaver, and a sinister Morgan Freeman isn't supposed to be real. He instead provides gunplay, and lots of it. I'm not a fan of directors who use quick cuts and warbling camera angles (example being Tony Scott) but to highlight Wesley's inner turmoil, Bekmambetov does a fine job using it, but to a minimum. His black comedy vision of Wesley's stark contrast between sterile office life and excessive violence recalls Mary Harron's American Psycho.

McAvoy is the standout actor here. After getting his chops in prestigious award-seeking films such as The Last King Of Scotland and Atonement, and being best known to wider audiences in the first The Chronicles Of Narnia, McAvoy does a seamless transition from meek, panic-ridden everyman to world-weary badass. With his crooked smile and sweaty, pasty face, he is unafraid to look foolish and ugly.

Jolie, meanwhile, is more engaging than she has been in the recent past, but is strictly there for sex appeal. In the end the two stars never engage in any sexual activity, which I suppose is a refreshing rarity in a film like this, but her character is pretty well undeveloped, aside from a small flashback to her childhood. She could also stand to gain a few pounds. I don't know any sexy assassins, but I would assume they don't look so gaunt, with such bony arms. Her muscle mass doesn't even look like she could carry one of those guns, let alone fly in all directions and murder somebody with it.

As a critic, its easy to take Wanted down a few pegs. It was not made for us to cherish as a smart piece of cinematic history. Instead it is an action film that surprisingly exceeds the expectations many fans and non-fans assume of it, and for that Wanted gets praise. It's different in minor aspects, gloriously undaunted by its limitations, and in all, a fun ride.

Featured Review: WALL-E

For the mini review of In Bruges starring Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes, CLICK HERE


WALL-E




Starring- Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy, Sigourney Weaver, Fred Willard



Directed by Andrew Stanton




Grade: A+


"I don't want to survive, I want to live!"

A poor, lonely, hard working boy with undistinguished looks meets an eye-pleasing girl with a cold attitude. He has something she wants without even knowing it, but in the end she finds he's more than just a casual acquaintance but a true friend. He goes to save her when she's in peril, and she eventually finds herself caring about him enough to do the same. Sound like your typical romantic movie? Because it's actually the love story of two robots.

The men at Pixar are geniuses. Only they can turn a hunk of rusty scrap metal with binoculars for eyes into one of the most endearing and captivating characters in animated cinematic history. WALL-E doesn't so much as speak as form sound from a mechanical voicebox, and yet he expresses more emotion than just about any actor in any movie I've ever seen. The relationship between WALL-E and EVE is often more realistic than most love stories told on screen in live action.

With the abundance of remakes and re-imaginings of past franchises, watching such an original creation like WALL-E, I couldn't help but feel like I was watching movie history in the making, akin to past generations the first they saw Star Wars or E.T. on the big screen. This was beyond the typical Pixar film- a beautiful and well-crafted animated movie that's still just an animated movie- rather, WALL-E explored thoughts in environmentalism, consumerism, love, acceptance in society, philosophy, and what it means to be human. Pretty heady stuff for a movie typically aimed at kids. It was made almost with the adult fan in mind over the little ones.

But make no mistake, WALL-E is to be loved by everyone.

We meet the little robot 700 years after man has left Earth, destroying His planet with rampant eco-destruction. WALL-E (Waste Allocation Lift Loader Earth-Class) is purposed to help pack the waste into nifty little cubes and stack them into skyscrapers. However, long after his brothers have broke down, WALL-E develops a personality. He collects odd assortments he's never seen before, and befriends a tiny cockroach, possibly the only other "living" thing on the planet. But when a sleek robot named EVE sets down into the world, looking for something, WALL-E is instantly smitten.

This first hour of the film is both visually and thematically amazing. The animators did a great job constructing a futuristic world of giant superstores and buildings gone idle, WALL-E shuttling around the city landscape as if being the only moving thing on the planet was normal to him. But it becomes obvious he wants more when EVE arrives. With his hang-dog eyes and stoic demeanor, watching Hello Dolly! for companionship just isn't enough anymore. His natural curiosity makes for wonderful and touching humor, and the fact that he grew from an emotionless robot into one that understands feelings over the course of 700 years while his human brethren grow distant is very thought provoking.

The second half of the film isn't quite as impressive, but still a knockout by any means for other reasons. Once WALL-E arrives on the spaceship of the last race of humans in pursuit of EVE, we are introduced to a world of generic, super-obese and mindless humans (all white or black, still speaking remedial English, so it looks like Americans were the only survivors) who can't even muster the will to walk or eat anything on a plate. They're served by more advanced and intelligent robots than WALL-E, often with meaner streaks or malfunctioning units.

While not as beautifully poetic as the first half, this part still holds value in its entertainment and message. Man was made to enjoy his Earth and his fellow passengers on it. When a robot ends up learning the meaning of life and love before the humans, you know you've gone too soft as a society. Some parents may be turned off by a movie that intends to spread a message, maybe almost insulted, but WALL-E never panders. Besides, the film's target audience: children, won't understand the significance of these adult themes. They'll be too busy laughing along to WALL-E's exploration antics, which in itself was funnier than most comedies released this year.

Pixar never fails to amaze. Sometimes they hit minor snags with Cars or A Bug's Life, but even those films are triumphs compared to some of the best of competing studios. But with WALL-E, Pixar has once again raised the bar. In fact, they might have raised it too high, for when the next films come out, they'll all be compared in standards to this film. Toy Story, its sequel, even Finding Nemo, Ratatouille and The Incredibles were amazing, but were finally usurped by WALL-E. So what can possibly come along to top that? Toy Story 3?

Whatever. With Pixar, there are no guarantees, only that their imaginations are limitless, to infinity and beyond.

Actor Spotlight: JOHN C. REILLY

This is the 2nd in a series of Actor Spotlights. The first piece, chronicling Sam Rockwell, can be found here.

Perhaps one of the oddest and most unconventional leading men in Hollywood history, John C. Reilly rose up from charismatic supporting actor to genuine ensemble star, and now even gets to helm his own movie occasionally. The lumpy-faced Chicago, Illinois native, with his pock-marked skin and curly hair, has kept himself down-to-earth despite 20 years in the movie industry. Since the beginning he has appeared in films that have starred some of Hollywood's biggest stars. Often zig-zagging between starring and supporting roles in mainstream and independent film, all the while showing up in the most random cameos. Reilly is truly an everyman actor.

Born John Christopher Reilly to a Catholic household of six children on the south side of Chicago on May 24, 1965, Reilly stayed out of trouble by immersing himself in acting in local theatre productions. He trained at the Goodman School of Drama out of DePaul University, and appeared as a member of the prestigious Steppenwolf Theatre troupe founded by actor Gary Sinise, which has featured renowned actors such as John Malkovich, Joan Allen, and Laurie Metcalf.

Reilly's big break came suddenly, and by chance in 1988. Hired by Brian De Palma to appear in his Vietnam film Casualties Of War as a nameless soldier with one line who gets his arm blown off, Reilly flew on an airplane for the first time for filming. Released in August of 1989, Casualties Of War, piggy-backing off popular Vietnam films of the era such as Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, and Good Morning, Vietnam, starred Michael J. Fox and Sean Penn and featured John Leguizamo in his own debut role.

Stephen Baldwin, in an early acting role, was hired to play one of the soldiers who rapes a young Vietnamese girl, Pfc. Herbert Hatcher, in the film. However, as soon as Reilly flew back home, De Palma realized Baldwin was not working out. De Palma fired Baldwin and brought back Reilly for the Hatcher role, expanding it into a full supporting role. If that wasn't enough of a coup for the 24-year-old DePaul graduate, he also met his future wife, Alison Dickey, on the set. Since John Reilly was already registered in the SAG databases, the young actor added a C. to his name

"The C stands for Christopher. You can blame the union for that. The Screen Actors Guild make you do it if there's another member with the same name. I wasn't going to change my name, so I just included the middle one. It was a decision I had to make on Casualties Of War, my first film in 1989. I got a phone call and had to fly out to Thailand where Brian De Palma was shooting and it was a sudden decision, and I'm stuck with it. So I'm glad I didn't go for a stupid and exotic-sounding name just to grab attention, or you could be talking to a man named Tallulah or something."

After showing up later in the year as a 'young monk' in another Sean Penn vehicle, We're No Angels (co-starring Robert De Niro), Reilly got another supporting part in an established star's big film. 1990 saw the release of Tom Cruise's Days Of Thunder, a bombastic summer movie dedicated to stock car racing. Reilly appeared as Buck Bretherton, an aw-shucks member of Cole Trickle's car maintenance crew. Later in the year he appeared as the ill-fated homely crony Stevie McGuire in State Of Grace, his third pairing with Penn.

Reilly popped up again in 1992 with a trio of diverse roles. In Out On A Limb he plays one of two drunk brothers who run afoul of Matthew Broderick in this absurd farce. For Hoffa, Danny DeVito tapped Reilly for a supporting role in the Teamster Union opposite Jack Nicholson. Reilly even showed up as 'Cop at Police Station' in Woody Allen's Shadows & Fog.

The next few years saw continuous work as faceless supporting roles. 1993's What's Eating Gilbert Grape, a critical independent and cult favorite starring then rising stars Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio, saw Reilly play Depp's friend Tucker Van Dyke. In 1994 Reilly got perhaps his most sinister and widely noticeable role at the time as Terry, who along with Kevin Bacon, terrorized Meryl Streep's family in The River Wild. The next year he reunites with Wild co-star David Strathairn, playing Constable Frank Stamshaw in Stephen King's Dolores Claiborne.

Towards the mid-1990s, Reilly turned to smaller films, among them Boys, Georgia, and Hell Cab. The one that had the most implication though was Hard Eight. Originally titled Sydney, first time feautre director Paul Thomas Anderson gave Reilly his first starring role as a hapless loser who gets help from an older mentor played by Philip Baker Hall. The two of them, along with other Anderson regulars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Melora Waters and Robert Ridgely, would help shape Anderson's breakthrough film the next year, Boogie Nights.

In the grand scheme of the film, Reilly's character Reed Rothchild represents Reilly's persona in movies up to that point. The likeable, goofy supporting character that appears in a large bulk of the film but never plays any specific importance. While most of Boogie Nights is pretty tongue-in-cheek, Reilly's Rothchild is served as Dirk Diggler's (Mark Wahlberg) best friend and comic foil. While this performance didn't garner him any specific award recognition, it did give way to more supporting film work.

Pairing with Sean Penn for a fourth time, Reilly joined another ensemble cast for Terence Malick's The Thin Red Line. Despite seven Academy Award nominations and a cast that included major names such as Penn, George Clooney, John Travolta, John Cusack, Adrian Brody, Nick Nolte, Woody Harrelson, and James Caviezel, The Thin Red Line was cancelled out and overshadowed that year by Steven Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan.

Between 1999 and 2002 was arguably the best and hardest working stretch of Reilly's career, and for many supporting actors in general. After The Thin Red Line ended run in theatres in early 1999, audiences saw him in supporting roles in two lightweight romantic dramedies. Ironically in both, he was named 'Gus'. In Never Been Kissed, Reilly is Drew Barrymore's hard-working newspaper co-worker. For Kevin Costner's For Love Of The Game, he appears as the star's wisecracking catcher. Finally to round out the year Reilly re-teamed with P.T. Anderson for Anderson's anticipated follow-up film, Magnolia.

In Magnolia, Reilly gets a role that he hadn't experienced before in a large-scale film; his character, police officer Jim Kurring, falls in love. Unlike his previous roles of unremarkable nobodies that fill screen time, Reilly's performance in Magnolia proves he had an emotional range that went mostly untapped in past films.

Reilly continued his stereotyping as a supporting lout in big-budget films with Wolfgang Petersen's $140 million dollar epic The Perfect Storm in 2000, re-team with past co-stars Clooney and Wahlberg.

After being nominated for a Tony Award for True West, and appearing in friend Jennifer Jason Leigh's indie ensemble The Anniversary Party, Reilly had a record-breaking year in 2002, even by Hollywood standards. Having four major supporting roles in the one year alone, three of the films were nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. This was the first time an actor had appeared in that many Best Picture nominees since Thomas Mitchell in 1939.

Three of the films has Reilly playing the well-meaning but often hapless and dumb husband of stronger women. In The Good Girl Reilly is a pot-smoking house painter married to Jennifer Aniston. The Hours travels him back in time to the 1950s as Julianne Moore's clueless but hard-working mate. His best role goes further back to the 1920s in Chicago, playing the dim-witted spouse of Renee Zellweger, Amos Hart. His heartbreaking rendition of "Mr. Cellophane" during a critcal moment of the film earned Reilly his first Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor, although he lost to Chris Cooper in Adaptation. His other role was Daniel Day-Lewis' right-hand man Happy Jack in Gangs Of New York.

Since 2002, Reilly's resume has been eclectic, often veering towards more comedy and starring roles. In 2004 he teamed with Leo DiCaprio for a third name in his last Best Picture nominated film The Aviator, playing Howard Hughes' CEO Noah Dietrich. Also over the next couple years Reilly could be seen in Criminal, Dark Water, and A Prairie Home Companion.

Despite playing numerous comedic characters on both film and stage, for many, Will Ferrell's 2006 NASCAR satire Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby was their first exposure of Reilly as a humorist. Ferrell wanted him to play 'Champ Kind' in his previous Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy, but due to the filming of The Aviator, Reilly was replaced with David Koechner.

"I love that people can't place me. They don't know my name. That's 'mission accomplished' in my world."

Talladega Nights was a modest hit, and led Reilly to his first true, big-budget, widely released film. In December of 2007, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story was released. While the film itself was hit or miss, many critics praised Reilly's performance for his earnest comic timing and singing voice. Walk Hard was followed by a toned-down comedy role in the independent The Promotion in early 2008.

The immediate future shows Reilly enjoying his stretch of comedy roles, and sees him expanding on some out-of-the-box projects. Later this summer he re-teams with Will Ferrell for Step Brothers, which already looks better than Talladega Nights and some of Ferrell's recent flops including Semi-Pro and Bewitched.

Also in the works is a CGI sci-fi/fantasy project simply called 9, concerning the lives of rag dolls who must fight for their future. It co-stars Jennifer Connelly, Elijah Wood, and Martin Landau. In 2009, expect to see Reilly as head vampire 'Larten Crepsley' in Paul Weitz's (American Pie, About A Boy, American Dreamz) fantasy epic Cirque du Freak. If it performs well at the box office, there could be up to three more sequels in store.

John C. Reilly may never become Hollywood's most bankable stars, but there's no mistaking his affable charms whenever he appears on camera. With a huge and diverse range of roles, spanning from the lowest of the lowbrow comedies, nearly depressing serious dramatic biographies, and invigorating musicals on stage and screen, Reilly can pretty much choose where he wants to go from here.

The Prezzies' Top 5 John C. Reilly Performances
Chicago
Boogie Nights
Magnolia
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Gangs Of New York

Featured Review: GET SMART

Get Smart


Starring- Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin, Terence Stamp, Masi Oka, Terry Crews, David Koechner, James Caan.



Directed by Peter Segal



Grade: C+




"Missed it by that much."

Would you believe Get Smart is a witty, life-changing comedy in three acts? No? Would you believe then that it's full of James Bond like action scenes that just blow you away? No? Then would you believe it's a sometimes funny and middling cookie-cutter action comedy that fails to inspire any original thoughts? Okay good. Getting that out of the way, if you're too young to remember this paragraph's running joke in the original television series, the producers of the Get Smart movie would like you to see their film.

I can see how the boardroom meeting played out. Steve Carell is a hot property who can still be had on the cheap. He's really adept at playing clueless but well-meaning characters. He needs an established franchise. Afraid to concoct a new brand, someone suggests re-imaging the 1960s Get Smart television show. Don Adams' character has Carell written all over it. Demographics show younger fans will come for the action comedy, but hope that like all big-budget 'retro' television show movies, older fans will come for the nostalgia. Everyone is pleased with the idea, send a temp worker to flesh a couple of things out, and order Thai and martinis for lunch.

As it is, Get Smart is a quick paced, solid film. It just doesn't do anything very exceptional. The comedy has its moments, but most of it is given away in the trailers, and still doesn't have the slapstick absurdity that Adams' old show had. The action sequences are kind of cool, but again none of it is breathtaking. One scene even seems to lift a key fight from The Matrix Reloaded. There's just so much beige geniality to the film that there's just not a whole lot to lambaste or praise about it.

The film version re-imagines Maxwell Smart (Carell) as a formerly obese top researcher for the agents of CONTROL, which to the public eye was decommissioned after the Cold War. When it is found out that main enemy Russia's KAOS has compromised CONTROL's intelligence, the Chief (Alan Arkin) finally decides Max, for better or worse, will have to help in the field. He assigns Max, code name Agent 86, with Agent 99, an older woman and top spy who had a face change, played by Anne Hathaway. From there, 86 and 99 must crack the case and stop the film's biggest baddie, Siegfried (Terence Stamp).

Get Smart the television show, created by future movie comedian Mel Brooks, was goofy camp, made strictly to showcase quick one-liners and a breezy 30-minute plot. Because most moviegoers under the age of 45 probably are not familiar with the original show, the film manages to shed away most of what made the television version run for so long, instead focusing on a action-comedy hybrid. It's not a bad thing, but with Carell's penchant for the same kind of comedy Adams used to do, he could have been given more slapstick things to do without resorting to childish humor. That's what made the original television series, and most Mel Brooks comedies in general, so appealing.

Carell as per usual is a compassionate player. Eventually like every comedian his routine will grow old (in 2008, re: Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Mike Myers), but as the 'befuddled but earnest' guy, it's much more toned down that of a lot of his contemporaries. We understand that Max in the film has a few insecurities left to work out, but being in the employ of CONTROL for so long has given him enough tools to succeed even when the Chief and his fellow agents don't think it. Carell is perfectly fine with that emotional range.

While they keep true to the original with character names (The Chief and the other agents names are never revealed, CONTROL and KAOS are intact, and we get a glimpse of the android Hymie), and the occasional catch phrase, the biggest creative license and perhaps most ill-advised character change is Agent 99. Hathaway's version starts off as a cold, strong, 21st Century woman, almost a feminist. Then she makes a complete 360 two-thirds of the way into the film into a romantic vagabond who has various indiscretions. It took four seasons of flirtatious zingers before Max and 99 fell in love. It took Hathaway's character about 30 minutes. Even Mary Jane from Spider-Man would tell her to slow down.

All in all, Get Smart is like trying to flesh out a comic strip into a feature film. You get the names and the general idea down pat, but after everything is bulked up into two hours, it is modernized and generalized into your average but unsatisfying popcorn movie. In that case, Get Smart could have used some help in their research to "get funnier".

Sorry about that, readers.

Featured Review: THE LOVE GURU

As if seeing The Love Guru this weekend wasn't a bad enough assault on my cognitive thoughts, a mini-review of February's hapless Witless Protection can now be found in the review database here.


The Love Guru



Starring- Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Verne Troyer, Meagan Good, Stephen Colbert, Ben Kingsley.



Directed by Marco Schnabel



Grade: D-



"You've got a firm grasp on the obvious."

The Love Guru is Mike Myers' ultimate 'eff you' film. A big middle finger to the critics, fans, and studio executives who long pestered him about a new movie. 'When is the next Wayne's World coming out?', 'Are we going to see Dr. Evil in a spin-off sequel?'. People were bothered that he hadn't starred in a live-action film since Austin Powers in Goldmember in 2002 (I refuse to acknowledge The Cat In The Hat). Adam Sandler churns out a new film yearly. Judd Apatow has his name on a great deal of projects the last few years. Where's Mike Myers been?

And then The Love Guru hits. Guess that solved that question.

To say the film is monstrously bad on all accounts is a lie. It's monstrously bad on all but a few minor things that are absolute moot. Guru's supporting characters look like they are trying really, really, really hard to make things work and not laugh ridiculously between takes about how asinine the whole project is. Despite the stellar background of stand-up comedians in the film, I doubt any of them got to improvise much. This is Mike Myers' The Adventures Of Pluto Nash. This is his vehicle, and his alone, and it sank like the Titanic.

The film centers around a boy named Maurice (Myers, computer altered to look like a child, purposely bad) who along with Deepak Chopra grows up to learn the wisdom of Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley, obviously high from the on-set pot he smokes in The Wackness). As an adult, going by the name Pitka, he has become a rival to Chopra, now a famous celebrity guru. He gets an offer from Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba, only there for eye candy), the bequeathed owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs, who for the sole reason of having an absurd crush on him, puts her faith in Pitka solving the relationship woes of star player Darren Roanoke. Roanoke's girlfriend is shacking up with Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake), who just happens to be the star goalie of the Los Angeles Kings, the team the Maple Leafs are playing in the Stanley Cup.

Never mind the fact that these were two of worst teams in the National Hockey League last season (the sad thing is, the NHL gave full logo rights for the film, a desperate play to attract more fans), or that despite being an avid hockey fan, Myers couldn't have wrote a worse or less cliche hockey game scenario. No, if Myers stopped mugging for the camera for just one moment and gave a little screen-time to his co-stars, this ridiculous carnival of catastrophe could have been salvaged.

Timberlake seems to be the only one that at least makes an effort, not knowing the terrible fate of what he signed up for. As a French-Canadian goalie with a huge penis, he at least has fun with the role. Unfortunately we don't. Stephen Colbert, as one of the announcers of Hockey Night In Canada (though without Don Cherry, what's the point of calling it HNIC?), has an ounce of what he used to do on Strangers With Candy before he hit it big in Jon Stewart's entourage, but it's not nearly enough. Everyone else is criminally wasted.

Romany Malco had great moments in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and at least tried to be funny in Baby Mama. Here he gets a bigger role, but as a straight man in an unfunny comedy, he's nothing. Jim Gaffigan is a hilarious stand-up comedian, but gets relegated to five lines as the announcing partner to Colbert. John Oliver is a popular correspondent on The Daily Show, but here instead is just Pitka's annoying manager. Sharp-eyed Comedy Central viewers will even notice Daniel Tosh being given two lines and a cowboy hat. What a waste.

Overall, for what? So Myers can giggle his way through 90 minutes of obvious double entendres, and then point out the joke in case the idiots who wandered in from the latest Friedberg/Seltzer crapfest didn't get it? We get it, the CHARACTER has that personality flaw where he points out the obvious and makes jokes that are only funny to him and people on the screen being paid to read a cue card and laugh. But as a writer and performer, Myers has the power to not abuse that kind of control. Instead though, he took everything that was kind of annoying about his previous characters from Saturday Night Live and Austin Powers and exaggerated it tenfold. Some studio executive really needed to step in here and hit Myers' ego with a rolled up newspaper and say "No!"

The Love Guru would've made for a really easy 'F' grade, but since I'm stingy and have forever been numbed by comedy in general after Meet The Spartans, I give it a D- solely on the effort of Timberlake. Sure he's terrible, but I'm pretty sure he was the only one unaware about the conspiracy Myers had to screw with the public. Lou Reed had his Metal Machine Music, Mike Myers will forever have this branded on his resume.

No party time, no excellence here. If this is what we are to expect from Myers here on out, "Wayne's World 3" if ever made, will be a travesty to our nostalgic senses.

Indie Review: THE PROMOTION

THE PROMOTION



Starring- Seann William Scott, John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Gil Bellows, Lili Taylor, Fred Armisen, Rick Gonzalez



Directed by Steve Conrad



Grade: C+




"Black apples?"
"I said... bad ones? Blapples?"

Workplace comedies have been inconsistent. The rise of such have been attributed to the great, cult classic Office Space, and NBC's The Office, both shining examples of the mind-numbing tediousness of which we call middle-class life. But other times comes trash such as Employee Of The Month or Fred Savage's Working. The Promotion is a small budget, little slice of film that neither caters to the PG-13 crowd that flocked to see Employee, nor the infinitely quotable "So true!" films and television shows such as The Office. Instead, it jockeys for a middle management position in independent film purgatory.

Seann William Scott stars as Doug Stauber, an assistant manager of a Chicago area supermarket. He's of that nebbish quality, a 31 year old who's realizing he's never going to change the world, so a promotion as full manager to a nicer store opening up a few blocks away would really do wonders on his psyche. He has a loving wife (The Office's Jenna Fischer, perfect for that non-Hollywood pretty look), but they deal with the daily hassles surrounding them, everything from her self-effacing boss to homosexual banjo players in the apartment next door. And that doesn't even begin to detail his problems at the particular store he works at.

His clueless but well-meaning manager Scott (SNL's Fred Armisen) considers him a "shoo-in" for the new job. That is until a new assistant manager from a Canadian subsidiary grocer comes in. Richard Wehlner (John C. Reilly), with his easygoing personality and previous experience becomes the new favorite almost immediately. It's easy for Doug to hate Richard, but soon he realizes Richard is more or less in the same position he's in, and like Doug, has a few shortcomings that will be exposed over the course of the film.

The Promotion is strikingly similar to Chaos Theory, another quirky indie comedy that made rounds in film festivals before being unceremoniously dumped into select theatres this year. Both films pass themselves off as a straight comedy, but as the trailers for both just begin to indicate, there's a serious dramatic tone that dares to overshadow the comedic element. Indeed The Promotion has some humorous moments, and the pathos director Steve Conrad mixes in could have been done worse by a commercial director. But the final product is wildly uneven, which could be the reason it got short-changed in its release schedule.

One moment there's a scene of deep thought about the prevalence of middle class life. Next there's a joke about masturbation. For every seemingly sharp acerbic wit joke, there's an uncomfortable shift in either gross-out humor or dramatic contemplation. The Promotion in general as a film isn't comprised of toilet humor, so when it comes up, it feels largely out of place. The humor isn't laugh out loud funny either, just a dozen moments of smiling chuckles, and that's if you can tolerate the almost borderline racist moments. Black, Hispanic, the mentally handicap, all represented in questionable formats (though the 'Black Apple' moment is probably the funniest part of the film).

No, the best parts of the film are actually the dramatic scenes of the characters' moral compass. It's nothing new at all, but when the comedy is lacking, at least the simple story of identity, family, and the American Dream is there. Conrad rarely sticks to the Hollywood convention of a "Scott vs. Reilly" scenario, instead playing them off as two separate, real characters who must fight for the same job for personal gain. It's admittedly a rare film where the protagonist (Scott) as a character is less likable as the supposed antagonist (Reilly). It's not that Scott's Doug Stauber isn't likable, but Reilly's Wehlner is such a harmless goof that you feel kind of sorry for him. At least Stauber you can envision landing back on his feet at some point. If the ending of the film wasn't so abrupt and unsatisfying, you'd imagine Wehlner being in a tougher spot if he doesn't get the job.

Most of the performances are above average, or at least adequate. Reilly is his usual movie persona, the lovable, sometimes dimwitted oaf. Fischer and Taylor, while pleasant, are pretty much non-entities as the men's wives. Armisen is quietly entertaining, as is Jason Bateman in an uncredited cameo. Scott actually gives his best dramatic performance to date (his FIRST dramatic role to date?). He's still got awhile to go before he goes Jim Carrey on the world, but like Ryan Reynolds in Chaos Theory, he proves that the potential could be there (looking at his upcoming resume, I'm guessing that won't be happening...). The only bad performance I'd rate is Gil Bellows as the head of the board of the directors choosing the new manager. He's too oily and over-the-top for such a low-key film that unassumingly throws out risque jokes.

The cinematography and the feel of the movie is really its strongest suit. Donaldson's, the grocery store, is crisp and clean in design, recalling one of those smaller grocers that cater to inner-ring suburbanites with a retro-modern 'friendly neighborhood' design. The film's contrasts between the vivid and the muted colors of suburban life give The Promotion a positive aesthetic look that sometimes distracts away from the disjointed mistakes crumbling around it.

The Promotion is typical independent comedy. Some good ideas, some bad ones, interesting casting, and a shoestring budget that proves that non-action films can be made to look nice without a budget the size of Myanmar's economy (I'm looking at you, Zohan). Sometimes it works brilliantly, sometimes it fails miserably, but usually, as this movie upholds, it's somewhere in the middle. And that adequacy isn't enough to make The Promotion stand out and warrant a raise to the mainstream cinemas.

Featured Review: INCREDIBLE HULK

The Incredible Hulk



Starring- Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson, Ty Burrell, Lou Ferrigno



Directed by Louis Leterrier



Grade: B




"As far as I'm concerned that man's whole body is property of the US Army."

Edward Norton's Hulk gets angry when you compare him to Eric Bana's Hulk. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Indeed, much of The Incredible Hulk's credo is trying to stay as far away from the first film as possible, despite the mere five years it took to reboot the franchise. For all that it gets ridiculed, Ang Lee's Hulk wasn't THAT bad. But with new people in charge and Marvel Studios primed to handle their property better, The Incredible Hulk is made bigger, better, stronger, and less touchy-feely. Was it worth it?

With an ample amount of projects in the pipeline for Marvel Studios, one has to ask if making another Hulk film was relevant. After all, with Thor and The Avengers and Ant-Man (yes, Ant-Man) needing summer real estate property, why remake a superhero that's been tainted in the public opinion not so long ago?

These auspicious beginnings start the film off cloudy. Unlike Hulk's summer brother Iron Man, this film doesn't have an extensive origin story. In fact, it has none at all. We see the basic idea of Norton's Bruce Banner undergoing his gamma radiation accident, and small clips of the ensuing rampage during the opening credits. General Ross (William Hurt) fills Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) and the audience in with vague details of why Banner was working in the lab, but it never evolves. If the viewer wanted to know why Banner became the Hulk, they'd have to recall the 2003 film, which is the entire antithesis to the reason this one was made.

The second scene salvages the non-existent backstory. We see Banner years after his exile from America, living in the slums of Brazil, trying to find a cure for his 'disease'. The foreign set and action pieces, combined with the choppy history of the character's past actually conjures up vibes of the Bourne trilogy. Immediately we realize they're going for a grittier movie than Lee's version.

Hulk's CGI is grittier as well. Gone is the smooth, bright green, almost cartoonish texture that the campy television show and the last film featured. Leterrier's version is ripped and bumpy, dark green and almost gray like his original comic counterpart was. He eschews the bright purple gym pants for normal ones (even making an inside joke about them. Take THAT Ang Lee!).

There's just one noticeable problem about the casting. While Marvel did a little too good of a job replacing Jennifer Connelly with Liv Tyler and Sam Elliott with William Hurt (did anybody notice the difference between any of them?), they didn't re-tool the CGI character for Norton. Both the 2003 and 2008 Hulks, while different in many aspects, still feature the same kind of brute-faced, black-haired look. While Norton is always a refreshing actor in films, his superhero identity still looked like Eric Bana. The whole reason Bana was cast in the first place was because he looked like a human version of what his character became. If they truly wanted to separate themselves from the previous installment, they could've took some liberty with molding the Hulk a little closer to Norton's image.

Tim Roth also seems like an odd choice as the super-soldier Emil Blonsky turned mutant villain Abomination. His acting was spot on, but Roth is a mere 5'7, playing a world-class military expert who eventually gets drugged up enough before transforming that he has human superpowers. This slight can be worked around, but Leterrier shows a critical moment in the plot where Roth has to stand side by side with William Hurt, who's 6'2. The difference is staggering, and distracts from remembering Roth is supposed to be nearly invincible at times.

Otherwise, the film is an entertaining two hours. Most of the action scenes are thrilling without being overlong or tedious. The CGI is more polished than its predecessor, as is the acting. It's not as good as Iron Man, but we can basically see where Marvel Studios is going with its projects. Packaged with Robert Downey Jr's Tony Stark cameo and Tim Blake Nelson's quirky supporting character tie-in as Samuel Sterns, The Avengers better be a masterpiece, since in effect Hulk and Iron Man boils down to being two hours teases for the future films.

If they decide in 2013 that this Hulk is unsatisfactory, and another reboot is made, that'll make me angry. You'd like it when I'm angry, makes for a better blog.

Featured Review: THE HAPPENING

The Happening


Starring- Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Ashlyn Sanchez, Betty Buckley, Spencer Breslin


Directed by M. Night Shyamalan



Grade: C






"We've lost contact."
"With whom?"
"With everyone."

M. Night Shyamalan broke out in Hollywood with a provocative, spellbinding piece of horror history with 1999's The Sixth Sense. In the nine years since, critics, fans and Shyamalan himself have placed tough scrutiny on him recapturing that glory. The Happening finally stopped his descent in subsequently worse filmmaking, but because his last movie, Lady In The Water, was so flawed, he had hardly anywhere else to go but up. Small victory, but still plenty of problems.

The largest malfunction with The Happening is that it fails in what Shyamalan does best; creating engaging characters the audience can at least respect, and throwing them off with shock twists. However now, as his shock endings have become passe in the pop culture lexicon, Shyamalan is so terrified to make a bold move that The Happening just ends up being a somewhat pointless movie. It is a film that simply doesn't have much happen.

Mark Wahlberg plays Philadelphia high school science teacher Elliot Moore, who's having marital problems with Alma (Zooey Deschanel) when he and his fellow teachers, including math nerd and best friend Julian (John Leguizamo), find out New York City is under attack. More specifically, people are attacking themselves. When the confrontations spread locally, the three of them and Julian's daughter set off on a train to escape the cities. Soon, they eventually are forced to run on foot to get away.

Get away from what exactly? The marketing for the film did a good job to keep the evil forces of nature (no pun intended) wrapped up in secrecy. But the movie doesn't give us much to work with. Natural disaster? Terrorist attack? Government experiment gone wrong? There's no clear indication, only theories. That may work for certain movies that are engaging otherwise, but for a film that's mostly 90 minutes of people running around trying not to commit suicide, without a shock ending or any answers makes The Happening a cheated movie.

Almost all the characters are unlikeable. Wahlberg's Elliot tries to have a personality in the beginning of the movie, interacting with his students, but by the end he's as bland as the Pennsylvanian countryside. Deschanel's character is supposed to be emotionally unavailable, but she acts like she's mentally handicapped for 3/4 of the film. Leguizamo was the most interesting and believable of the main leads, but he's not in the movie enough to save it.

If anything in the film is considered a shock, it probably has to do with Spencer Breslin's (once an annoying child actor, now annoying teenager) character. Shyamalan tries to give a punch to the gut there like in The Mist. But by the time that "shock" happens, the whole thing feels kind of ridiculous. Sadly though, the end is as straightforward as can be, something that made the audience kind of confused. As in "Really? That's it?"

The Happening's whole premise is a good idea, give Shyamalan credit there. The entire discussion about evolution and natural selection and the effects we have on plants and the environment is an engaging one. It was trying to be a smart version of The Ruins, except the latter at least was effectively scary and entertaining.

But after the first few scenes, Shyamalan couldn't keep it effective. When the scariest thing about the film is wondering if the characters are going to be able to outrun wind, it's obvious the script looked better on paper. Actually, scratch that. The scariest thing was Betty Buckley as the old shut-in Mrs. Jones. What the hell was that all about?

Overall, The Happening wasn't a terrible movie; it didn't feel overly long and enough stuff took place that it wasn't completely boring either. But everything was adequate at best, and this film became probably one of the biggest non-entities in movie theatres I've ever seen. In the end we realized the only thing that truly 'happened' was that we didn't learn anything about anything, except that Shymalan could develop a sequel if he wanted to.

Let's pray "The Happening 2: It Happened Again" doesn't happen.

Actor Spotlight: SAM ROCKWELL

This is the first in a series that will be updated erratically (whenever boredom strikes and I feel inspired). This article is in lieu of a full review of What Happens In Vegas... the mini-review for that film can be found here.



Sam Rockwell is a major enigma. He's still a person that many casual movie-goers can point out as a 'that guy' character actor, and not remember the name. He's been through a long list of film the past 20 years, from the most independent of indie films, to critical art house films, to disastrous box office flops, often interchangeably. He's been dubbed on more than one occasion the "male Parker Posey." Across the vast expanse of his career, Rockwell has displayed a certain seedy charm to such an effect, it's sometimes hard to determine if his affable and sly demeanor is pure acting or a fabric of Rockwell himself.

Born, well, Sam Rockwell (none of his bios list a middle name) in Daly City, California on November 5, 1968, Rockwell grew up in a divorced family of artists that allowed him to experience a true bohemian upbringing. Shuttled between New York City and San Francisco, Rockwell became an admitted drug user in the excess of 1980s youth, and a natural ascension to acting from his parents followed. In 1984 he released his only hit single in the music industry, the pop classic "Somebody's Watching Me."

Rockwell's debut in film came when he snagged the role of the oldest brother in the low budget horror schlock Clownhouse. Trying to capitalize on the string of major horror hits of the era, Clownhouse went nowhere. But this started Sam on the way back to become an actor in New York full-time.

The next couple years at the turn of the 1990s, Rockwell was able to hold down a few minor roles in semi-noticeable films such as Last Exit To Brooklyn and In Living Color's Tommy Davidson's vehicle, Strictly Business. But arguably his biggest legacy from the era is the thankless role of 'Head Thug' in 1990's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

From here, Rockwell disappeared into the fray of the independent fare of New York city. In 1992 alone he had supporting parts in Light Sleeper, In The Soup, Jack & His Friends, and Happy Hell Night. He also appeared in two episodes of Law & Order in this time.

But success and starring roles still eluded him. Working typical actor jobs as a busboy and deliveryman, and not so typical ones such as a private detective's assistant, Rockwell eventually hit the big time doing, of all things, a commercial for Miller beer in 1994. This allowed him to focus on acting.

The mid-1990s and his heretofore indie pedigree found Rockwell with a stable of odd supporting characters, foreshadowing much of his box office career. The Search For One-Eyed Jimmy, Box Of Moonlight and Ben Affleck's Glory Daze featured notable names that were upstaged by Rockwell's eccentric characters, often the true focus of the films. His role in Moonlight got the attention of the producers of Lawn Dogs, and this began the critical ascent Rockwell's career had been waiting the past 8 years for.

After Sam Rockwell's nuanced performance in the lauded and 'featured' indie Lawn Dogs won several awards, his career started taking off. In 1998 Rockwell got his second starring role in Safe Men with fellow indie supporting character actor Steve Zahn. Also that year he got a tiny blip of screen time in Woody Allen's Celebrity, as part of Leonardo DiCaprio's posse (with future Entourage star Adrian Grenier).

1998, however, was just a filler year for Rockwell compared to his true breakout year of 1999. After Lawn Dogs, he got the attention of several influential players in Hollywood. A Midsummer's Night Dream, made to capitalize on the success of Shakespeare In Love the year before, saw Rockwell play Francis Flute. Another hallmark was as Guy Fleegman in Galaxy Quest. Quest not only showed the public that Rockwell possessed comedic chops, but also pigeon-holed him as a 'that guy'.

If the previous two films had made Rockwell at least a name in Hollywood studio productions, Steven Spielberg got people actually talking about him. Spielberg saw Lawn Dogs, and gave Rockwell the role of the disturbing antagonizer Wild Bill Wharton in the major release The Green Mile. Rockwell got acclaim for his role as the deranged inmate from much more widely read sources than the ones who watched Lawn Dogs. But the stardom was swift, and it nearly derailed his niche as an actor.

Charlie's Angels, released in 2000, was one of the most highly anticipated franchises that year, and amongst the star power of Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Bill Murray, Rockwell found himself playing the villain. But unlike his other villainous roles, this was his first summer blockbuster, and he got to play a suave playboy. Unfortunately the film was terrible in execution, and Rockwell struggled to look 'cool' on screen.

Although he had his highest profile role to date, his performance provoked apathy. Rockwell laid low and went back to his independent roots, often appearing in friends' short films. It was in 2002 that Rockwell got the nod to star in George Clooney's directorial debut, Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind. The producers wanted a bigger name to play Confessions' Chuck Barris, full-time television show producer, part-time CIA assassin, but Clooney insisted on Rockwell. He didn't let him down. He conveyed the essence of Barris' affable desperation, both in seriousness and to comedic effect. Critics at the time were enamored with the performance, and Rockwell won several local Best Actor awards.

Sam got another high-profile gig in the favorably reviewed Matchstick Men, playing, what else, but a comically flawed sidekick to star Nicolas Cage. As Entertainment Weekly noted at the time, "Sam Rockwell, who seems destined by a kind of excessive interestingness to forever be a colorful sidekick."

For better or worse, Rockwell then appeared in the highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy in 2005, as the strange cult leader Zaphod Beeblebrox. But perhaps like Charlie's Angels, Rockwell in Hitchhiker didn't show off his best talents on the big box office scale. In essence, Beeblebrox was a signature Rockwell role; goofy charms met with an an unorthodox parlance. But again, it did not curry any favors for Rockwell's stock.

That brings us to Sam's recent credits. He filled a true Rockwell-esque supporting role as Casey Affleck's brother Charley Ford in the critical but little seen The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford. Even better was his star turn in another little seen but somewhat prestigious indie film, Snow Angels. Playing a depressed, emotionally and mentally damaged father was pretty typical of Rockwell, but it's what he does best, and he completely nailed the role. If it was released at a better time or got more attention, Rockwell's name would be right up in the awards conversations.

This fall we look forward to Choke, based off a Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club) novel, which should continue to make new fans out of Rockwell's work. At the end of the year he plays author James Reston Jr. in Ron Howard's awards-seeking Frost/Nixon, most likely another thankless supporting role. Other movies in post-production include Moon, Everybody's Fine, and Gentlemen Broncos.

Sam Rockwell may never become a consistent star in Hollywood, and may be lucky to continue popping up in major budget films. But with a penchant for dark, odd characters, Rockwell is suited just fine for interesting independent films. Whatever happens with his career, an appearance by Rockwell in a film is a welcome addition.

The Prezzies' Top Five Sam Rockwell Performances
1. Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind
2. Snow Angels
3. The Green Mile
4. Matchstick Men
5. Lawn Dogs

Featured Review: KUNG FU PANDA

Kung Fu Panda


Starring- Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, David Cross, Jackie Chan



Directed by Mark Osborne and John Stevenson



Grade: B





"I'm not a big fat panda. I'm the big fat panda!"

Right out of the gate, Kung Fu Panda's marketing in movie theatres ("Hey you with the cell phone...") months beforehand made the film somewhat undesirable. We get it; Jack Black, a jovial, rotund, energetic sort of actor, voices a jovial, rotund, energetic panda. No stretch there. With the dearth of CGI-animated films being shoved out, titles such as Valiant, Flushed Away, The Wild, Over The Hedge etc, long forgotten about, can Panda compete?

Surprising to say, but while Kung Fu Panda is far from a perfect family film, it does succeed in entertaining the same way as the lesser of Pixar's films do. A cliche story, mixed with some genuine affection and humor, and some murky, mixed feel-good messages to kids, and Dreamworks' has its first true hit outside of the Shrek franchise.

Kung Fu Panda actually starts off very strong. We learn, much like in a traditional Chinese folklore, of the predetermined fate of Po (Black), a clumsy but good-natured giant panda who's not expected of anything but to make noodles for his father. It's when he attempts to join his neighbors in celebrating the revealing of the chosen 'Dragon Warrior' that things kick off.

Many of the early moments of the film is quick-paced and humorous, appealing especially to kids. Po gets into comedic violence often, but it's usually pretty tame. Getting into the walled off temple that the christening takes place is an especially realized piece of the film.

Panda does, however, lose steam into the second half. After a brilliantly drawn scene showing the evil Tai Lung (McShane) escaping from his prison, the film gets pretty heavily caught up in its own message, one that when lighthearted works best, but gets poured on as the film progresses.

The basic theme is that no matter who you are or what you are, if you believe in yourself, you have the power to do anything, and that each and every thing can be special. Whether that be fighting a warrior that's much stronger and faster than you, or climbing a bunch of cabinets to eat almond cookies. This gets mixed up a little. At times it seems like the message is trying to deconstruct body image issues, saying to kids "it's okay if you're fat, you can still achieve great things, like being a master at kung fu!". But remember, pandas have fat deposits, it's part of their body makeup. Childhood obesity isn't.

Another mixed reaction to the film is the voice cast. Black brings his personality perfectly to Po, using his enthusiasm to sell the panda as a lovable, lazy goof. Dustin Hoffman is fun as well as Shifu, Po's rat-like kung fu master. At times Hoffman sounds more Jewish than Chinese, but his grandfatherly voice casts a warm tone over his sometimes demeaning character. But while they, and McShane's dastardly villain voice are the highlights, everyone else gets lost in the shuffle.

Angelina Jolie's Tigress is mostly forgettable, at least for as much star power as her name commands. Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, and David Cross, while being recognized, are under utilized. Worst of all is Jackie Chan, voicing the Monkey. He had maybe two or three lines and I can't remember what any of them were, let alone figure out it was Chan until the credits rolled.

Otherwise, Kung Fu Panda was a pleasant animated film, maybe one of the best not put out by Pixar. Unlike Shrek and it's counterparts, Panda doesn't pander to parents with quick pop culture references that go stale in three years. It relies on its story, for better or worse. Panda doesn't quite endear like Horton Hears A Who!, and will probably fall to third when Wall-E is released, but still a minor feat unto itself considering how much we all dreaded the cell phone commercial.

2009 Academy/Prezzie Award Forecaster

With less than 9 months away until the 2009 Academy Awards, and about 8 1/2 until the 2nd Prezzie/Uglie Awards, let's take a look at 10 films that will be released sometime between October-December and could be major players come February. There's some major lineage going on in most of these films, with very few casting unusual choices. Rather it's mostly "acclaimed" actors teaming up with "acclaimed" directors, often for the first time:


The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (tentative release date: December 19)
With a rumored $100 million dollar budget and enough prestige to make any Hollywood jet-setter's eyes boggle, Benjamin Button could end up becoming too bloated and over-saturated for voters by February. But the ultra-stylized trailer is marvelous in highlighting not only what the story is about but hints at the fantastical and macabre elements that seem like a Tim Burton film. With 10 nominations and 3 wins between them, stars Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett (sup. actress, The Aviator), Tilda Swinton (sup. actress, Michael Clayton) and screenwriter Eric Roth (screenplay, Forrest Gump) may elevate critically popular David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en, Zodiac) into his first directorial nomination.



Revolutionary Road (tentative release date: December 26; limited)
Whether it's truly and fully justified or not, Leonardo DiCaprio has been Hollywood's favorite son for serious Academy fare the past 6 years, only to get looked over with 2 nominations out of 5 "Oscar marketed" films since 2002. With Revolutionary Road and his other 2008 piece House Of Lies (read below), DiCaprio looks to score his first Best Actor win. In Road, he's paired with his Titanic lover and 5-time nominated Kate Winslet in a story about domestic squabbles between a family in the mid-1950's, directed by Sam Mendes (best director, American Beauty). With Kathy Bates (actress, Misery) in tow, look for this film to take a path akin to Mendes' Beauty if it doesn't go stale.

Australia (tentative release date: November 14)
Expect this film to be full of sweeping, beautiful scenery, and enough bombastic self-importance to seem like a triumphant film. But if Oscar past has any say, Australia will garner a few sympathy nominations and disappear on awards night. English-speaking foreign films have been weak of late- although Atonement was the big winner of the Prezzies, it flunked at the Oscars. Australia will be forced to rely on stock (native to the country as they may be) that has been on a decline. Nicole Kidman, though winning Best Actress in 2003 for The Hours, hasn't been in a good film since then. Hugh Jackman, outside of The Prestige, has been unreliable in film since his X-Men days. Most distressing of all is director Baz Luhrmann who's films (Moulin Rouge!, Romeo + Juliet) have been of cult nature, not something Oscar voters pick up on.

Doubt (tentative release date: December)
Depending on the artistic style of director John Patrick Shanley's vision, Doubt may end up as a forgotten morality tale along the lines of 2007's Before The Devil Knows You're Dead. Basically it's about a Catholic school nun in 1964 who grows suspicious of a priest who takes a little too much interest in a student. The queen of the Oscar nominations Meryl Streep stars as the nun, and with her last win coming in 1983 (Actress, Sophie's Choice), voters might feel she's ready for another one. Critic darling Philip Seymour Hoffman (Actor, Capote) plays the possibly pedophile priest (that's alot of P's), and IT girl Amy Adams appears as a fellow nun. This could end up with a few acting nominations and a shut out in the big technical/picture categories.

Changeling (tentative release date: November 7)
Directed by 4 time nominee, 2 time winner Clint Eastwood? Check. Starring everyone's favorite Hollywood Humanitarian and World Mother Angelina Jolie, looking for her first nomination in 9 years? Check. Supported by actor's actor John Malkovich, and Prezzie winner and Oscar nominee Amy Ryan? Check. Debuting to rave reviews at the Cannes Film Festival? Check. All systems seems go for this tale about a working woman who's son gets kidnapped, and then "returned" to her. However, with the critical and box office failure of more recent Prohibition-era Los Angeles-based films such as The Black Dahlia and Hollywoodland, and the quick succession of Eastwood films, voters may end up being turned off by this.



House Of Lies (tentative release date: October 10)
Leo DiCaprio's other Oscar-stalking film. Here, he eschews his typical Martin Scorcese fare and teams up with Ridley Scott (3 nominations) and Scott's frequent acting collaborator Russell Crowe (3 nominations, 1 win, Actor, Gladiator) to star in a film about a former journalist in the Iraq War who hunts down a terrorist in Jordan. Scott's American Gangster opened up to much acclaim last year, only to end up so slick it was completely forgotten about by the end of the year. With DiCaprio, Crowe, and another Iraq War script (did anyone else besides me see Stop-Loss?), this could befall a similar fate.

Milk (tentative release date: December 5)
If Johnny Depp is the eclectic actor gone pop, Sean Penn is still the eclectic one down on the streets. Here he plays Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected politician, assassinated for reasons NOT being related to his sexuality. This is a film that could change the guards of established award nominees in the previous films. Aside from Penn, Josh Brolin, James Franco, Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna, and Victor Garber all are adept co-stars. Director Gus Van Sant, keeping a low-key since the failure of his Psycho with experimental films such as Elephant and Paranoid Park, may be ready for a trip back to the awards categories since his only nomination in 1997 (director, Good Will Hunting)

Che- aka The Argentine and Guerrilla (tentative release date: ?)
Benicio Del Toro seems destined to play former Argentine revolutionist Che Guevara. Never mind Del Toro's from Puerto Rico, Hollywood's not ready to get THAT politically correct yet. Still, Del Toro (sup. actor, Traffic) and director Steven Soderbergh (director, Traffic) had so much ground to cover, they ended up making two separate movies, The Argentine and Guerrilla, which covered two different parts of Guevara's life. The Argentine looks like it will end up being the more prestigious film, but unfortunately together (they were aired back to back as Che at the Cannes Film Festival) they could cancel each other out, much like Clint Eastwood's Flags Of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima. Still, the Academy loves biographical figures, so it's hard to see Del Toro not pick up a nomination here.



Burn After Reading (tentative release date: September 12)
The Coen brothers go back to comedy after their big award winner No Country For Old Men, but unlike their last comedy, the wretched The Ladykillers remake, Burn After Reading fortunately looks like it has the offbeat charms of The Big Lebowski and possibly Fargo. With a cast so large in name checking (Brad Pitt! George Clooney! Tilda Swinton! Frances McDormand! John Malkovich!) and the Academy's natural affinity to shun comedies, it could arrive DOA by February. But with a fun, punchy trailer and the ability not to get too serious within themselves, the Coens should still at least pick up a screenwriting nod. J.K. Simmons, as a clueless FBI honcho, may have the coolest role of the year.

W. (tentative release date: October 17; limited)
The ultimate wild card and dark horse of any awards race. On one hand the subject matter of a current sitting President being made into a biography has plenty of reasons to end up coming off as propaganda and doing poorly (how quickly did the critics wipe the smile off of Robert Redford & Tom Cruise's faces after Lions For Lambs came out?). However, many in the Academy are staunch liberals, and like the impending realignment in politics that looks to change the White House, W. could come away with some controversial awards. Director Oliver Stone handled Nixon well, but hasn't been in favor with the voters since the early 1990's. But add up-and-coming voter interests like Josh Brolin and Thandie Newton... and you just simply never know until the film comes out.


10 Other films of note:
Appaloosa- Viggo Mortensen does his non-Hildalgo western thing, and re-teams with Ed Harris in Harris' second directorial effort. 3:10 To Yuma was undeservedly absent from the Oscars last year, so this one probably will be too.
Blindness- This film had much promise and an interesting plot idea, plus Mark Ruffalo & Julianne Moore can't hurt. But word out of Cannes is less than stellar.
Defiance- Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber do a Schindler's List kind of thing with Edward Zwick (Blood Diamond) directing.
Frost/Nixon- Ron Howard does his version of Goodnight and Good Luck. But can this talky subject mesh well with the broad touch of Howard?
Miracle At St. Anna- The trailer looks really good, and after Inside Man, Spike Lee's credibility hasn't been this high in years. But the Academy hasn't acknowledged him before, will a WWII movie do the trick?
Synecdoche, New York- The plot is as confusing as the title is to pronounce, but Charlie Kaufman should be a writer nomination shoo-in.
The Dark Knight- The first major film with award chances, Heath Ledger definitely deserves a Best Supporting Actor nomination, as does Aaron Eckhart. Dark Knight might also be a dark horse for Best Picture, Screenplay, etc.
The Reader- Kate Winslet plays up post-War Germany, but it's unsure if the film can be released before the Awards deadline. If it can, it'll be a strong contender.
The Soloist- After Iron Man and Tropic Thunder, Robert Downey Jr goes for a 2008 trifecta with Jamie Foxx and director Joe Wright (Atonement). Is this Resurrecting The Champ but with better marketing and prestige?
Valkyrie- With all his negative publicity surrounding Scientology, can Tom Cruise actually ever rebound with a serious acting career again? Playing a German officer in WWII with a bad accent? Nah.

Featured Review: ZOHAN

You Don't Mess With The Zohan



Starring- Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Rob Schneider, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Nick Swardson, Lainie Kazan, Dave Matthews, Michael Buffer




Directed by Dennis Dugan



Grade: F




"Let me give her a cut and a bang."

The official title is simply, You Don't Mess With The Zohan. Given the many jokes about Middle Eastern linguistics in the film, perhaps the title is a play on what the real meaning of it should be; You Don't WANT To Mess With The Zohan. The film is as it describes- a mess- both in the humor it tries to find and the story it tries to play out. Personally, of all of Adam Sandler's mainstream films, only Little Nicky fails to inspire more than Zohan.

Like his other Saturday Night Live counterparts still making films (Mike Myers, Will Ferrell, Jimmy Fallon etc), Sandler has a certain schtick (sorry for the Yiddish, but this is a film about Israel after all) we've come to expect from him. After awhile the same routine gets old, and it's usually refreshing to see a comedian take a new risk. In Zohan, Sandler DOES change his comedic personality. Probably the best part of the film is the fact he doesn't make goofy faces and go into screaming fits like most of his other characters.

But therein lies one of the major problems with the film. It's nearly two hours of Sandler trying to have a decent Israeli accent, and director Dennis Dugan attempting to make everyone and everything around Zohan feel authentically ethnic. Then they realize it's supposed to make people laugh, and by then it's too late. It's hard to see where co-writer Judd Apatow makes his mark here. None of it resembles the usual pathos that is seen in his films and television shows. Instead, Sandler and Robert Smigel's fingerprints are smudged all over it.

Whereas I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry was trying to be gay-friendly while being homophobic the first 75% of the film, Zohan could've used some pro-gay elements to highlight its camp. The Israeli and Palestinians love Mariah Carey. Zohan is a hairdresser in New York with a giant crotch bulge, and can catch fish with his ass. And yet the film spends much of its time following the Chuck & Larry formula, trying to build a concerning story of Middle Eastern life in America while mocking them incessantly.

The execution of the jokes is horrendous. Whenever there's a decent chance to laugh at something, there's way too many groaners and odd incidents that take the air out of your chuckles. The fascination with hummus? Hacky sack? Even Carey's cameo itself is extremely awkward. Perhaps these things could've been funny if better staged, but as it was they were thrown into the middle of scenes and failed to create any humor out of it. I won't ruin the other cameo surprises, but despite the name recognition, very few of them work out to the film's advantage.

Probably the worst scenes of Zohan is Sandler's presence with John Turturro, playing a Palestinian rival named The Phantom. Turturro can be a convincing actor in drama roles, but as Zohan (and his past role as the crazy government agent in last year's Transformers) proves, he's not very well suited for comedy. His character was mostly pointless, and Turturro's uneasiness only made his barbs with Sandler that much worse.

Sandler's chemistry with Emmanuelle Chriqui is flat as well. There seems to be a golden rule of thumb in all Sandler-produced films: the older he gets, the hotter his objects of affection become. In Zohan, she serves no purpose at all, except to perhaps prove Zohan isn't gay or just a purveyor of old women getting haircuts. Chriqui has no lines of mention at all, and is probably the least memorable of his leading ladies. She's just there.

You Don't Mess With The Zohan could've reasonably been a funny and biting satire on the Israeli/Palestinian/American conflict, but with Sandler's crew in charge, that's obviously too much to expect. Instead it's a crude, big budget knockoff of Borat that doesn't began to prove the racism and humor that Sasha Baron Cohen exhibited. When Rob Schneider is the funniest and most believable star of your film, you know you're in a mess. A Zohan kind of mess.